"How To Be A Fuck Up"

 

first be me

then get a beer

and turn on the stereo

and go sit on the stairs

out back

where you can't hear the music

and position yourself on the railing

so that it's really uncomfortable

and your butt hurts

and make sure it's dark

so you can't see what you're writing

in your notebook

which is really just your psychatrist

or actually mirror

which only reflects

that fact that yer

well

interesting looking

sometimes just weird

and then start thinkin'

about something that's the most important

thing in your life

something so important

that you've been thinking about it for

days and days

and dreaming about it

and wishing and praying and hoping

about and getting really supersticious

about and then

realize

you fucked it up and you're a failure

and that you suck at everything

you think you're good at

that everybody really dislikes you

that your lover's bored with you

that you're bored with yourself

your luck is the worst

society is doomed

and that life is a waste of time